The list below is a collection of good text messages I’ve found online. There are a lot of such lists, but, for most of them, it’s pretty clear their authors have no clue of how this things actually work… So, if you’re looking for stuff like “Your father must be a gangster… Because you are like DYNAMITE”, this is clearly not the place were you’re gonna find it.
While these texts are not perfect and some of these texts might sound cheesy, take a look at their context, because context is actually more important than the text itself.
Flirty Text Messages for Guys
(opener) What are you doing, cutie?
(opener) Knock knock…
(opener) How’s my favorite little brat doing?
(opener) Ciao bella! / Mi amore! / My cheri amore!
(opener) I just made you open your phone for no reason…looks like I got you in check =]
(opener) Hey goof, I bet my weekend can beat up your weekend.
(opener) What sort of trouble are you causing?
(opener) I am luring girls to my house with candy, which do you prefer skittles or M&M’s?
(opener) Hey..do me a favor and text me right back. Just hi or something. My friends don’t believe retards can text. We’ll show em lil buddy
(opener) I know my math u+i equals 69
(opener) Girls are gross…
(opener) Hey princess, I Just came back from the aquarium and I saw the cutest fish there…it reminded me of you
(opener) I hope you are smiling. If not just think of me!
(opener) Aliens are coming to abduct all the good looking sexy ass people! You will be safe, I’m just texting to say goodbye
(opener) Remember guys tomorrow is “Hug a retard” day…So don’t freak out like you did last year, NO ONE IS TRYING TO HURT YOU!
(opener) I miss you and wanna see you, but this dumb security guard won’t let me in the zoo. Is there any way you can escape?
(opener) Why’d you have to give your mom my phone number..? She won’t quit calling me now..
(opener) Did you know a blue whales tongue weighs as much as an elephant!? That’s ridiculous… Gotta love animal planet during the lunch break…
(for flakes) I just met your twin
(for flakes) I like talking to you and I don’t play games. I think we’re really good together. Lets try it if not that’s cool and I’m glad we met.
(push-pull) Out of all the (first name) (last name)’s I know… I think your my favorite.
(push-pull) You just popped into my head so Hi…now please stay out of there
(push-pull) Everytime I see u, I smile. When u walk, I laugh. When u speak, I get excited. For some reason, retarded people amuse the hell out of me!
(for same night) Sweet dreams, sexy. [name]
(for same night) Hey I hope you got home safe. [name]
(attraction) Let’s fly to Las Vegas, get married, argue about our third kid’s name, divorce, and grow old lonely and depressed
(attraction) I don’t know who you’re boyfriend is…but he’s not spanking you enough!
(attraction) I don’t think you’re ready for this jelly
(attraction) Awww, you’re so sweet. You’re making me get diabetes.
(attraction) I just don’t think we should do this anymore…Sometimes you make me feel like I am just a piece of meat.
(comfort) I was thinking of you…
(comfort) Something about u seems to always make me smile.
(sex) This is a breathalizer test. Please blow in the phone…..Result: Positive 90% for sperm breath
Flirty Text Messages for Girls
(opener) Bored @ home..up to a Sunday Funday?
(opener) Stop thinking about me!
(opener) At Starbucks… can’t study anymore. Save me?
(opener) None of my friends want to see Beautiful Creatures… would u b down?
(attraction) Wanna play a game with me?
(attraction) I’m watching porn.
(attraction) Can you guess the color of my underwear?
(attraction) I’m feeling so cold even though I’m under the blanket. Hold on for a minute, lemme put on my clothes.
(comfort) I’m imagining you’re with me right now…
(comfort) Just got to Madison Square Garden… wish u were here!
(sex) I had a naughty dream last night and you were in me… I mean, it…
(sex) I just bought new underwear and can’t wait to show it to you.